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lyrics

I slipped a fence and hopped a train
From Pennsylvania to mid-Missouri
I had a friend down at the lake
I thought I’d make the most and show up early

But I just couldn’t stay awake
And I slept all the way to Albuquerque
I guess I missed a couple states
But it isn’t what it ain’t
And it ain’t no big worry

I stuck my thumb out to the road
New Mexico got me sittin’ shotty
With a trucker and her load
Of Colombian coke, cannabis, and coffee
I said I’m headin’ to the road
And Omaha is where she brought me
I guess I really should’ve known
If you pull that kind of load
You’re probably pretty bossy

I’ve been guessin’ all my life
Sometimes it takes three lefts to make a right
And sometimes that right is wrong
But there’s a song to every story

I bought a handle and a horse
And started North from South Dakota
I had a well-planned course
And somehow ended up in Sarasota
The Gulf is beautiful for sure
But it's a poor excuse for Manitoba
I guess the lesson here in short -
Give whiskey to your horse
And you'll wind up in Florida

I've been guessin' all my life...

So as it turns out, there's a direct correlation
Between an equine's inebriation
And the speed at which he's racin’
That's how I made it to the Sunshine State
In less than half a day

So me and my pal Cadillac Jack - that's the horse
We tossed a couple rounds back
And headed to the track of course
Where he proceeded to win me
All kinds of cash, and more

Unfortunately, the liquor that we picked
Made him so damn quick
Not only did he defy all statistics
But also laws of physics

He was gently laid to rest
And after a ballistics test
It was determined that the bullet in his breast
Was the one from the starting gun
Which he had outrun

And that's when I thought to myself
I might as well take that blazing saddle
Strap it on to something else
So I crossed the state to Cape Canaveral
I rode that rocket straight to hell
And rang the bell to satan's castle
I said I guess I oughta tell ya
I'm headed to Australia
So keep your shackles

I've been guessin' all my life...

credits

from The Casual Observatory, track released April 13, 2023

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Hello Sapien Cincinnati, Ohio

While the band's sound tends to fluctuate from song to song, you can be sure to expect lyric-centric tunes with plenty of piano, big bridges, and some interesting twists on traditional songwriting

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